A Lack of Color

Did Pontius Pilate say, “Oh no, we can’t have you loving one another, and we certainly don’t want you to love us, your enemies. To the cross with you”?

The Lost Gospel of Judas Iscariot – Bart D. Ehrman

This is my favourite quote from the book by Bart D. Ehrman.  I imagined Ricky Gervais saying it in his David Brent voice.  Obviously this is not what Jesus was actually charged with.  According to Ehrman, it seemed like a semantics catastrophe.  Jesus told his disciples that he was the future King of the Jews.  What he didn’t do was tell the public this.  For Jesus to die he needed charges against him that sentenced death ie. a political revolt.  The word “King” was taken out of context and presented to the Romans in a way that convinced Pilate that Jesus was a threat to the government.

What did Jesus actually do? Preach.  Jesus and his posse can be compared to a modern-day traveling Evangelistic faith healer.  A few miracles here and there, a few sermons about our forthcoming doom throw in some baptism and voila – suck on it, Peter Popoff.  I find it hard to believe this gang was planning a political revolution that could overthrow any Roman empire but still, Jesus’ charges did not connect to his ministry but to his imaginary political scheme.

I learned a lot about the New Testament and Jewish, or lack-there-of, traditions relevant to a coming messiah.  A lot of evidence shows that Jesus was not the messiah.  Maybe if he actually did have a plot to overthrow the Romans then we could consider the possibility but he was a country-bumkin who was not a priest, not a King and he never ruled over any kingdom.  According to the Hebrew Bible, Jesus it is clearly why the Jews not only rejected the idea of him being the messiah but were down right shocked by the mere suggestion.

Personally, I find it much more likely that Muhammad was the messiah rather than Jesus.

Gnostics (not Agnostics!) wrote some great books and I’m really glad the Gospel of Judas (about Judas not written by) has been discovered.  Gnostic theology is a bit wacky in comparison to the “majority” Christian stream but the explanation and story of Jesus and Judas does make sense.  I’ve always thought that there was something more to it than simply gold coins and betrayal.  Judas is Snape, Jesus is Dumbledore.  Now who was Dumbledores closest ally? Snape.  Who killed Dumbledore? Snape.  Right now people everywhere are freaking out about comparing Jesus to a wizard but it’s an easy analogy.  Was Judas Jesus’ closest disciple?  According to the Gospel of Judas he was.  Was it necessary that Jesus die?  Yup.  Did Judas do it for the money or as a favor asked by Jesus?  I believe it was either a favor for a best friend or a way to calm down a raving menace during Passover.  I believe that there is a possibility that Judas had no idea that Jesus was going to be killed.  Especially if he wanted to secure safety for himself and the other disciples instead of allowing the rebellious (religiously not politically) Jesus to get them all in shit.  Jesus’ behavior in Jerusalem during Passover was alarming and threatening.  Like a drunk friend screaming at a club bouncer.  Sometimes if they are too out of control you just want them thrown in the drunk tank over night so you can continue to party without feeling responsible.  It was Passover – if was effing important!! And Jesus was causing a ruckus.

Yes, Jesus met a poor demise and perhaps he was treated unfairly under really bad circumstance but that does not make him the messiah.